


Option Three

by KSheenan10



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Light Angst, Near Death Experiences, Pining, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 22:22:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30045663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KSheenan10/pseuds/KSheenan10
Summary: If you were in a room with everyone you've ever loved, whose arms would you fall into?Olivia gets shot on a case and undergoes surgery. While unconscious she encounters several people from her past (and her present) and makes a choice.Meanwhile with Elliot and Brian showing up in the waiting room things get tense and Carisi makes an important phone call.
Relationships: Olivia Benson/Brian Cassidy, Olivia Benson/Elliot Stabler, Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Comments: 13
Kudos: 101





	Option Three

**Author's Note:**

> It seems I'm incapable of writing a fic without Elliot in it. (I'm so excited for his return though!) Fair warning, he is a bit of an ass in this fic, mostly because he couldn't conceive that Olivia could have moved on from him.

It was like in the movies. The way that time slowed down and you could see every movement, every facial expression the other person makes. Olivia’s hands moved to her gun, trying to get it out, to defend herself. Yet, for some reason, even though it was something she’d done millions of times before, she couldn’t quite get a grip on her weapon. So she watched in slow motion as the perp pulled out his gun and aimed it her. Watched as his finger pulled the trigger. Watched as the bullet came toward her, helpless to do anything about it.   
Noah flashed through her mind as she waited for the inevitable. He wouldn’t take the news well, she knew. He had finally reached an age where he could understand the possible dangers of her job. Could understand that there may be a day where she didn’t come home to him. She had a brief picture of him throwing things and screaming.   
Right before the bullet finally reached her another face flashed through her mind. And she ached. They had finally reached a place where they were getting back to what they once were. Back to that place where they were teetering on the edge of something more. She wished they had more time.   
Then the bullet was tearing through her skin and muscle, the pain red hot and lancing through her entire body not just the spot that she’d been hit. The ground rose up and she lay there waiting for darkness to overcome her.   
And it did. 

*************************************************************************************  
One week ago….  
“So I heard something,” Amanda said hesitantly.   
Olivia looked up from her desk, glasses perched on top of her head. Amanda turned and gently shut the door to the office behind her.   
“It’s really none of my business, but I just-“ Amanda spread her hands out in front of her. “I heard that Organized Crime has a new Captain.”  
Olivia nodded her head. “I’ve heard.” Her face didn’t betray what she was thinking.   
Amanda observed her for a moment, curiosity getting the better of her. After all she had heard so many stories. “Are you going to try to talk to him?”  
Olivia leaned back in her chair with a heavy sigh. “I saw Brian the other day.” Amanda had a stony look pass over her face. “He was the one to tell me about Elliot.” She reached up to twist the necklace she was wearing around her neck. Amanda’s eyes fell to it prompting Olivia to release it.   
“Elliot and I, it’s complicated,” the woman said finally.   
“I heard he split from his wife a few years ago,” Amanda said slowly. Olivia let out a huff of laughter.   
“I really like Kathy,” she said, “I would never-“  
“You were in love with him,” the detective stated. There was a pause and Amanda wondered if she’d overstepped.   
“I thought I was. Just like I thought I was in love with Brian when we were together.”  
“If you had to choose between them-“  
“I’ll take option number three,” Olivia said firmly. Amanda nodded standing up to leave. She wasn’t sure what made her do it, but she turned to take one last glance at her Captain. Again she was running her fingers over the necklace she was wearing, a thoughtful look on her face.   
Option three… Amanda couldn’t help but wonder. 

*************************************************************************************

The gunshot rang out and Amanda put more speed into her movement. She had lost sight of her captain and the perp just moments ago. She raced around the building, her heart in her throat. Without seeing the pair she knew who it was the bullet had been aimed at. And something in her gut told her the perp hadn’t missed. She couldn’t say how she knew this. Later when talking to others, she wouldn’t be able to form the words. Yet, it didn’t matter. They just needed to know facts. What Amanda had known when wouldn’t be relevant unless it was something she had seen or heard with her own eyes. A gut feeling, well you couldn’t take those to trial.   
Still despite what Amanda had somehow known, she still let out a small cry when she finally came upon the scene. Upon her boss and friend lying on the ground a pool of blood forming around her as their suspect raced away.   
The cement was cold under her knees as she fell to Olivia’s side not caring about the blood soaking into her clothes. She managed to get out her walkie and call for help before trying to stem the bleeding with her hands. Olivia’s head lolled and she murmured something before lying still.   
“Liv, stay with me,” Amanda said, ignoring what the woman had muttered. That didn’t matter now either. What mattered was getting her help. 

*************************************************************************************

Sonny Carisi stood with his back to the wall of the waiting room. Amanda was sitting nearby her clothes still covered with blood. Sonny tried not to think about it. Blood had never freaked him out before, but now, with it belonging to Olivia he couldn’t seem to look at the detective’s clothing without wanting to throw up. A part of him knew he should be comforting Amanda, she was pale and shaking, but he couldn’t seem to move toward her. Perhaps he should go find extra clothing for her he thought idly. His feet still wouldn’t move.   
Fin was down the hall calling people. Sonny didn’t want to think about that because what if he was calling them to get them to come and say goodbye? He shoved the thought from his brain. It was too soon. They didn’t know what was happening. He let out a breath when he thought about who Olivia’s emergency’s contact was. He knew it wasn’t Noah, although he was sure somewhere in her what if plans, there was a lawyer involved for the boy. He knew at one point that Fin had been her emergency contact. That could have changed he thought.   
His mind drifted, wondering, would anyone tell him? He wasn’t sure about the status of him and Olivia, although he had long suspected feelings were involved. He had seen the looks when Olivia had her head turned away.   
Perhaps he should contact the man? 

“Manda,” the voice dragged Sonny out of his thoughts and he saw Fin offering Amanda sweats and a tee shirt. The woman took them and made her way to the bathroom, her limbs still trembling slightly. Sonny worried that perhaps she was going into shock, although she had been checked out at the scene. 

“I told Lucy what happened,” Fin said as he sat down next to the chair Amanda had vacated. “Noah’s still in school, but I doubt Liv will be going home tonight. Lucy is going to pick him up when school ends and bring him here.”   
Carisi nodded his head, although the words weren’t making sense to him. His thoughts were too all over the place.   
Fin lapsed into silence which was when Amanda came back and took her place next to Carisi who promptly stood up.   
He made his way down the hall to where Fin had been standing earlier and took out his phone. He hesitated before making his call. He held the phone up to his ear, listening to it ring.   
“Hello?”

*************************************************************************************

It wasn’t a phone call Donald Cragen had ever wanted to receive. Nor did he ever want to be in the hospital because of it. Still, the former Captain saw two familiar faces when he entered the waiting room.   
“Captain Cragen,” Amanda stood up to greet the man who she had worked under briefly.   
“Fin called me,” he nodded his head to the man who had also stood up when he entered the room. “Any word?”  
Fin shook his head. 

“They caught the man who shot her,” Amanda said quietly.   
Cragen nodded his head. “Good.” The older man sat down across from Fin and Amanda carefully observing the pair.   
Fin’s face was stoic, although the former captain knew he was probably covering up his feelings about Olivia’s shooting. His attention went to the detective.   
“How are you doing Amanda,” he asked. The woman looked up at him. “You’re the one that was there when it happened,” he said softly. Even if Fin hadn’t told him as much, he would have known from the look on her face. He had seen it far more than he’d wanted to over his years on the force. 

She let out a sigh. “There was so much blood,” she said her eyes glancing down at her hands in her lap. It was at this moment Carisi came back in.   
“Carisi this is our former Captain, Donald Cragen. Cragen this is Sonny Carisi. He was one of our detectives, but now he’s our ADA,” Fin introduced the two men. Carisi reached his hand out and shook Cragen’s before collapsing next to Amanda.   
“Anything?” 

*************************************************************************************

Olivia walked down the hallway. It was a calming blue, but there was something about it which unsettled her.   
“Olivia,” she paused and turned. There was no one in sight, yet she knew she heard her name. She turned back around and jumped placing her hand on her chest.   
She frowned even as she looked down at her son who was looking up at her innocently. Something about her chest-  
“Mommy,” Noah said distracting her. She removed her hand from her chest and her feeling of unease faded.  
“What is it sweet boy,” she asked. He frowned at her.   
“Come back to me Mommy,” he said, sadness in his voice.   
“I’m right here Noah,” she said kneeling down to pull him into a hug.   
He vanished. 

*************************************************************************************

“Son of a bitch. You actually came,” Fin said shock in his voice. He was looking at the man who had just entered the room with a mixture of surprise and anger.   
“I got your message,” Elliot said stiffly his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.   
Fin shook his head.   
To be fair it wasn’t the first message Fin had left him. It was just the first one he had responded to. Both of them knew that. He didn’t need to explain himself to anyone though. 

Except perhaps Olivia. His stomach twisted at the thought of his former partner in surgery fighting for her life. He had so many things to say to her. Things that should have been said a long time ago.   
“Hey Munch, Cragen,” he said to his former coworkers. He looked at the other two sitting there staring at him and nodded at them before sprawling across a two person seat.   
“She still in surgery?” Elliot asked them. 

“Going on two hours now,” the man he didn’t know responded watching him warily. Elliot couldn’t quite get a read on him. Something said lawyer, but another part of him said detective.   
“Noah’s going to be getting out of school soon,” the blonde woman commented. She too seemed to be shooting wary glances at him. Something in her gaze told Elliot that Olivia had told her about him.   
Elliot looked to Fin, unsure if Cragen would know the answer. “Who’s Noah?”  
Fin sent a glare at him and didn’t respond his arms crossed across his chest. 

“Liv’s adopted son,” another voice said. Elliot turned to look at the person who’d just entered, one that he did recognize although he was surprised to see him here.   
“Cassidy,” said the woman stiffly.   
“Rollins,” he nodded his head at her before sitting next to Elliot in a single person chair.   
Rollins rolled her eyes and looked away. Elliot briefly wondered what this Rollin’s problem was with Cassidy. Not that she didn’t have a good reason. Elliot knew she probably did he did work with the man at one point. 

“Olivia has a son?” Elliot asked Cassidy. The other man nodded.   
“No thanks to you,” Rollins said loudly, still not looking in their direction. Cassidy winced, but didn’t respond back. Confirmation enough for Elliot that whatever the blonde was mad at him about she had good reason for.   
Fin was still glaring at him. Elliot looked him right in the eyes, neither man backing down. “I didn’t think you’d actually come,” Fin commented.   
“Then why did you call me?” Elliot countered.   
“You know why.”   
Elliot smirked. “Liv asked you to, didn’t she?”  
The woman called Rollins looked at him as did the man Elliot still didn’t know the name of probably trying to understand how Olivia could have asked Fin to do anything.   
“It was years ago and I probably could have ignored that request now,” Fin commented drily.   
There was silence. 

*************************************************************************************

Olivia let out a gasp. She wasn’t in the hallway anymore. She wasn’t sure where she was. There was a long beeping. She glanced down and blinked. She could see herself. People in scrubs were moving around her.   
“Noah,” she said. There was a quick shock of pain and then she was in the hallway again. There was a faint “we got her,” that was ringing in the back of her mind.   
She had been shot, she remembered suddenly. Her hand reached up and touched her chest where the bullet had gone in. She had thought of Noah and then she had thought of-

“Hey Olivia,” she turned to see Brian Cassidy looking at her.   
“Brian,” she took a moment to just look at her former boyfriend. “What are you doing here?”  
“You were the love of my life,” he said softly.   
“You told me that already,” Olivia said her eyes darting around now. Nothing had changed. Just her, Brian and an empty hallway.   
“We could have been good together. We were good together,” Brian said wistfully.   
“But I didn’t open up to you,” she murmured, remembering what he had said. She took a step back. “We could have been good together, but we aren’t meant to be,” she told him. “I have Noah now, and you never liked children.”   
Brian didn’t respond.   
“Liv,” a shiver ran down her spine. She would recognize that voice anywhere. She turned. 

*************************************************************************************

Brian Cassidy let out a long sigh. He glanced over and saw his former partner, Munch was sleeping, head against the wall. Cragen had gotten up to take a walk. More like get away from the tension between Fin and Elliot. Rollins, well she was alternating between glaring at him and looking at her phone. Carisi was checking his watch when he looked up and caught Cassidy’s eye. He turned away without saying anything. 

“So why are you here Cassidy?” Elliot asked. Cassidy knew that Olivia hadn’t told him about them. Not when they’d slept together all those years ago, when she was pushing him away and not more recently when they’d moved in together.   
Fin rolled his eyes.   
Cassidy straightened up. “Because I care about Olivia and want to make sure she’s okay,” he responded.   
Rollins let out a soft snort that both men ignored.   
“If you had tried to stay in Olivia’s life at all you would have known about our relationship,” he continued, knowing how upset Olivia had been. They had spoken about Elliot when they were together. 

Elliot raised his eyebrows. “Relationship? With you?” he sounded rather amused.   
“Yea,” Cassidy said, annoyance in his voice.   
“How long did that last? A month? Two?”   
Cassidy shook his head. “Perhaps we would still be together if it weren’t for you,” he snarled back.   
Both Rollins and Carisi were staring at the men with a fascination that was bordering on horror. Fin was muttering under his breath.   
“Me?”  
“Yes. You had her tied up in knots when you were working together and then off you go without so much as a goodbye. I don’t know if Olivia will be able to trust anyone again, let her walls down because of you.” 

The two men were standing now staring at each other. Cassidy could feel a fist forming. He wanted nothing better than to punch Elliot Stabler in the face.   
The tension was broken by a loud cry of “Auntie Manda!”  
Munch jerked awake and they all looked to see a young boy running to the blonde who had stood up to catch him.  
“Is mommy okay?”

*************************************************************************************

“El?”   
“You really dated Cassidy?” he shot a look at the other man who was just watching, his eyebrow arched.  
“I did.”

“Come on Liv, you know we were always meant to be,” Elliot said moving closer. She could feel his breath on her face. “We both know you were always thinking about me,” he said, his lips brushing her cheek. “That’s why you couldn’t get a relationship to stick, because you secretly wished-“   
Olivia stepped back, shaking her head. “Maybe once,” she admitted. “But I’ve grown out of you. I feel love. Like for a friend or a sibling. Not that you even deserve that much from me anymore.”   
“Oh come on. You’ve got to choose,” Elliot said louder. “And you can’t choose him. So I’m your only choice.”

Olivia shook her head again.  
“What are you going to choose Tucker,” Olivia automatically turned to see Ed watching before he smiled sadly and vanished.   
“Too late for that.” Elliot’s tone was mocking.   
“Why do I have to choose? I am perfectly fine on my own,” she shot back at her former partner. “Me and Noah are good.”   
Elliot had a steely look on his face. He looked up and past her.   
Olivia spun around, heart in her throat wondering who was behind her. Her eyebrows rose.  
“Carisi?” she asked bemused. 

*************************************************************************************

Cassidy ached for Noah for a moment. Then his eyes were drawn to the person who had walked in behind the young boy. It wasn’t Lucy like he would have expected. No, it was someone else he recognized.   
“We don’t know yet honey,” Rollins told the boy. “We’re still waiting to hear from the doctor.” 

“Still?” the man that had walked in with Noah scowled.   
Cassidy was still trying to figure out what the hell Rafael Barba was doing here. And with Noah. Last he knew Olivia had thought of him as the asshole ADA she had to work with. Why the hell did he have her son? He didn’t even work with Olivia anymore.   
Barba straightened up. “I’m going to see what I can find out,” he announced before turning on his heels to do just that. 

“Lawyer?” Elliot asked the room. He had sat back down, arms stretched out on the back of the seat behind him looking entirely too relaxed for being in a hospital.   
“Former ADA,” Rollins said shortly.   
“So why is he here?” Elliot asked the question Cassidy was trying to figure out the answer to.   
“He was our ADA for a while. He and Olivia were tight.” Fin filled in. Cassidy turned to stare at him.   
“They were what?”  
Fin looked at him. “I know when you and Liv were together you didn’t like him, but after you left, they got close. He was there for her,” he said that last bit pointedly. Elliot’s jaw clenched but he didn’t let Fin goad him into responding.   
“You said were,” he pointed out. 

Rollins and Fin exchanged glances. “He left for a while. Just came back recently. With our work schedules I don’t think they have a lot of time to see each other,” Rollins said.   
Carisi was looking fastidiously at his shoes now.   
“Uncle Rafa comes over all the time,” Noah piped up. Rollins’ head swung around to look at the boy standing next to her. Fin’s eyebrows rose up. Munch had fallen back to sleep, clearly the drama wasn’t interesting to him. Elliot’s face was blank. And Cassidy felt his fists clench. Carisi was shifting in his seat, eyes off his shoes and on his phone. “He was gone for awhile, but he came back.” The boy continued looking uncertain.

*************************************************************************************

“Hey Lieu.”  
She shook her head. “I’m not a Lieutenant anymore,” she reminded Carisi.   
“There’s nothing wrong with being alone. If that’s what you really want,” he told her.   
“I am aware of that,” she began to say, slightly annoyed at all these men telling her what was and wasn’t okay.  
“But if you wanted someone, if there was someone who you have feelings for, that’s when you should do something about it.”   
He looked her in the eyes. “I should know.” And with that he turned, slowly fading away. 

“Hey Liv.”  
Olivia closed her eyes briefly. She turned and looked past both Elliot and Brian a smile breaking out on her face as she began moving towards the man watching her. She allowed him to wrap her in his arms, breathing him in. She pulled back slightly knowing without looking that both Brian and Elliot were gone. She was safe here. Happy. 

*************************************************************************************

“She’s out of surgery,” Barba announced. “It was touch and go, but they think she’ll probably pull through.” It was then that Cassidy noticed the man’s appearance. He had lost his suit jacket and tie somewhere a couple of his shirt buttons were undone, and his hair looked as if a squirrel had attacked it. He also looked unusually pale.   
He genuinely cared about Liv, Cassidy realized.   
“They just told you this?” Elliot asked the man suspiciously.   
Barba shifted on his feet. “I’m on Livia’s emergency contact list,” he said, his cheeks turning slightly pink. 

Livia? 

Cassidy refrained from snorting at the nickname, his thoughts mulling over what Barba had just revealed. Was he really that close to Liv?   
“I guess it’s good to have a lawyer contacted in these situations,” Elliot remarked. “But why did it take you so long to get here? She’s been here for hours.”  
“I was in Washington DC. I got here as soon as I could,” Barba snapped. He looked at Carisi.   
“Thanks for the phone call,” he said. 

Rollins’ head now swung to look at the man sitting next to her, her mouth open.   
“Sure,” Carisi responded avoiding the eyes of the woman trying to meet his.   
“Not that I don’t like Barba, but why did you call him?” Rollins asked softly, but not softly enough.   
Cassidy had come to several conclusions about why, but he didn’t like any of them. They had agreed years ago that the man was an ass. So why he was so tangled up in Olivia’s life now, as well as calling her Livia? 

“Are you sleeping with her?” Elliot asked. Rollins shot him a dirty look as she pulled Noah closer to herself and Fin let out an indignant “hey”. Munch let out a soft snore.   
Elliot ignored both of them, eyes focused on the lawyer.   
Barba looked back a look of controlled anger on his face. “We both know if Livia had heard you ask that old partner or no she would punch you.”   
Cassidy snorted. He knew then, that if they weren’t sleeping together, that Barba sure wanted to be. His stomach roiled. But did Olivia want to?

*************************************************************************************

Amanda stared at the small group of people Olivia Benson had worked with at one point or another over her career. She felt like she was receiving a better understanding of her captain. She also now understood why Carisi had called Barba. Hadn’t she heard Olivia say ‘Rafa’ when she found her. And there was that conversation last week about option number three. 

They lapsed back into silence, Noah moving to share a two person seat with Rafael tucking his body in next to his.   
Amanda watched them for a moment. They looked really comfortable together. Almost as if they were- she turned to see Cragen walking back into the waiting room.   
“She’s out of surgery. We’re just waiting for her to wake up,” Fin said softly.   
“Oh good, someone finally came out,” Cragen responded as he went to take his seat back.   
“Actually someone went in to bully them for information,” Fin said sounding almost amused. Cragen followed everyone’s eyes to see Barba, arm wrapped around Noah.   
“They were actually just on their way out to us, I just got there first,” he admitted.   
“Barba,” Cragen said. “It’s nice to see you again.” His eyes fell on Noah. “And Noah. He’s grown.” There was a pause and a quick look of bemusement passed over the man’s face. “You and Noah are close then?” he asked. 

Rollins knew what was going through the man’s mind. Barba had never come off as being a person who got along with children. “He and Olivia are close,” she said.   
Cassidy let out a snort. Everyone ignored him.   
“Ah.” Cragen fell silent. 

“Hey,” Amanda nudged Sonny who looked up at her. “Why did you call Barba,” she asked quietly.   
Sonny glanced around lowering his voice. “I just always had this sense that there’s something more going on between them and thought he should know.” 

“What did I miss?” Kat burst into the waiting room. “Is she okay?” she looked around uncertainly. Fin sighed before making introductions.   
Everyone had just settled down again when a woman in scrubs came in.   
“Ms. Benson is awake. We can let someone in to see her now. Just one person,” she hastened to add.   
“I’ll go,” Both Elliot and Cassidy said.   
Barba glared at them. “Can her son go in?” he asked the nurse, gesturing towards Noah who was watching her.   
“I can take him in,” the nurse offered. Noah stood up slowly and followed the nurse.   
Fin nodded at Barba before turning to look at Elliot who had the decency to look embarrassed. “I’m not used to Olivia having a kid,” he muttered.   
“Were you always this big of an ass?” Fin asked.   
“Hey, let’s calm down now,” Cragen said. The men fell silent. 

“She asked for you,” Amanda said abruptly. “When I reached her,” she looked up at Barba. “She said your name.”   
Barba stared at her. “What?” he managed to get out.   
“Oh there you are,” Lucy came in. “Noah?”  
“He’s in with Olivia,” Carisi said.   
“Thanks for bringing him up Rafael,” she said sitting down. Everyone stared at her before moving their eyes towards Barba who was pretending not to notice them. Minutes passed silently. 

“Lucy,” Noah came running out ahead of the nurse who had taken him back.   
“We can let one more person see Ms. Benson, but then she really needs to rest,” the nurse announced. Both Elliot and Cassidy began to stand, Fin rolling his eyes at them.   
“She wants to see you Uncle Rafa,” Noah said turning to look at the man. “She told me so.” 

Olivia’s everything hurt. But she was alive. She was very aware of her heart beating. She let out a smile when she saw Rafael walk in a look of uncertainty on his face.   
“Livia,” he breathed when he saw her.   
“Rafa,” she said, watching him closely.  
“Both Cassidy and your old partner Elliot are here, if you want me to get one of them,” he said starting to turn.   
“I died.”

Rafael turned to look at her in horror. “I died during the surgery. It was only for a minute, but I remember looking down at myself and the doctors,” she continued.   
Rafael moved closer to her bed.   
“And when I wasn’t dead, I was dreaming. Have you ever heard that question,” she asked, Rafael looked at her. “The one about if you were in a room with everyone you’d ever loved, whose arms would you fall into?”   
Rafael shook his head. “Never,” he said a look of uncertainty on his face. 

Olivia’s fingers went up to the necklace around her neck that one of the nurses had returned to her.   
“I wouldn’t choose Elliot or Brian,” she admitted.   
“Oh?” Rafael’s eyes fell to the necklace.   
“Don’t tell Noah, but I think this was my favorite birthday gift,” she told him.   
“I wasn’t sure if you’d like it,” he admitted.   
“Is it too late?”

Rafael’s brows creased. “For us? Is it too late for us?” Olivia pushed.   
It took the man a moment. “You mean you want-“ he didn’t finish the sentence.   
“If I were surrounded by everyone I’d ever loved, I would choose you,” she said softly her eyes on his. Rafael’s eyes looked suspiciously wet as his hand found Olivia’s.   
“I would choose you too.”


End file.
